Tuesday, March 10, 2009

INSTALLING HUSBAND

A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy,
Dear Tech Support
,

Last year I upgraded from
Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition,
Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as

Romance 9.5
and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0
no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running
Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,


Desperate Woman



DEAR DESPERATE Madam,


First, keep in mind,
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command:
ithoughtyoulovedme.htmland try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed,
Husband1.0should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to
Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that
Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do,
DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the
Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary,
Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend:
Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7..7.

Good Luck Madam!


Tech Support

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