Economic models explained with cows

>
> Economic Models explained with Cows
>
> SOCIALISM
> You have 2 cows.
> You give one to your neighbour.
>
> COMMUNISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and gives you some milk.
>
> FASCISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and sells you some milk.
>
> NAZISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and shoots you.
>
> BUREAUCRATISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
> milk away...
>
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
> You have two cows.
> You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> You sell them and retire on the income.
>
> SURREALISM
> You have two giraffes.
> The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
> Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
>
> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
> You have two cows.
> You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
> credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
> debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
> four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
> The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
> Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
> sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
> The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
> one more.
> You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving
> you with nine cows.
> No balance sheet provided with the release.
> The public then buys your bull.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want
> three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
> produce twenty times the milk.
> You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market
> it worldwide.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION
>
>
> You have two cows.
>
>
> You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
> milk themselves.
>
>
>
>
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
>
>
> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
>
>
> You decide to have lunch.
>
>
>
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>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>
>
> You have two cows.
>
>
> You count them and learn you have five cows.
>
>
> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
>
>
> You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
>
>
> You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
>
>
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>
> A SWISS CORPORATION
>
>
> You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
>
>
> You charge the owners for storing them.
>
>
>
>
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION
>
>
> You have two cows.
>
>
> You have 300 people milking them.
>
>
> You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
>
>
> You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
>
>
>
>
>
> AN INDIAN CORPORATION
>
>
> You have two cows.
>
>
> You worship them.
>
>
>
>
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION
>
>
> You have two cows.
>
>
> Both are mad.
>
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>
> AN IRAQI CORPORATION
>
>
> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
>
>
> You tell them that you have none.
>
>
> No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your
> country.
>
>
> You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....
>
>
>
>
>
> THE TALIBAN
>
>
> You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside" and
> they both die. You blame the godless American infidels.
>
> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> Business seems pretty good.
> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
>
> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> The one on the left looks very attractive.
>
>
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