GOD'S PHARMACY

It's been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden, made animals and fish... All before making a human. He made and provided what we'd need before we were born. These are best & more powerful when eaten raw.
We're such slow learners... God left us a great clue as to what foods help what part of our body!

God's Pharmacy! Amazing!
A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye... And YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.

A Tomato has four cchemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).

Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.

Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

Avocadoes, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).

Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.

Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.

Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries

Oranges, Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

Onions look like the body's cells. Today's research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body. hambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.

HILARIOUS

Subject: Hilariious!!

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 ---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY


A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man
opposite herwas smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time
the smileturned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he
had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for
himself.

The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this, when the lady got
on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a
sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then
she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will
reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign

that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I
could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when She moved the
fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented
this Accident'... I just lost it.'

'CASE DISMISSED!!'

Ultimate Quote of the day:

Ultimate Quote of the day:

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."

Criticision : What If Titanic sank Today? ( HUMOR )

Criticision : What If Titanic sank Today?

Reaction from different countries:

**************


U.S.A:

"A ship coming to Freedom was attacked by terrorists.

We will not sit quiet and we will teach them a lesson.

Bin Laden you can run but you cannot hide we will find you and destroy your Al-Qaeda network."

(President Bush........whoelse?)

**************


U.K:

"I have spoken to the President of United States and we have both agreed that the sinking of Titanic is significant prove that Saddam Hussein is clearly behind this attack, Iraq is imposing a threat to the world and this has to be dealt with."

(Prime Minister Blair)


**************


Iraq:

"LOL!!!" (President Saddam Hussain)


**************


Israel:

"These Hamas and other terrorist network is enough evidence to say that sinking of Titanic is not an accident but it was their suicide bombers who have commited such a crime.

We will now impose curfew on the Palestinians, detain them, exile them, kill them, starve them, destroy their homes and refugee camps."

(Ariel Sharon....)

**************


Canada:

"Titanic who?" (Canadian Prime Minister)


**************


India:

"Is mein Pakistan ka haath hai. We have received passports of Pakistani extremists from the Titanic debris.

Pakistanis will have to pay for such horrendous act of terrorism. We are now deploying more soldiers to the border."

(Prime Minister Vajpayee)


**************


Pakistan:

"Sind may Double Sawari per ghair muayyana muddat ke liye pabandi"

(President Musharraf)

**************


UN:

"Shit happens right??"

(Sec.Gen. Kofi Annan)


**************


Survivors:

"Uhh. Helllooo. Is anyone listening...it was an iceberg..hellloooooo."

JOKES

A little girl asked her father: 'How did the human race appear?'

The father answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made.'

Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.

The mother answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her father and said, 'Dad, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mom said they developed from monkeys?'

The father answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your mother told you about hers.'

One afternoon a Lawyer was driving home when he saw a man eating grass by the side of the road "Why are doing that?" the lawyer asked.

"I don't have any money for food"'the man replied.

"Oh,then you must come with me"."But,Sir,I have a wife and five children."

"They are all welcom".


So the family got in the lawyer's car and he sped off towards his mansion. "you're so kind to help so many people"'the wife gushed during the journey.

"It's fine". said the lawyer. "I haven't cut my grass in weeks".

DEADLY SCRABBLE

This has got to be one of the most clever E-mails I've received in awhile. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)! DILIP VENGSARKAR When you rearrange the letters: SPARKLING DRIVE PRINCESS DIANA When you rearrange the letters: END IS A CAR SPIN MONICA LEWINSKY When you rearrange the letters: NICE SILKY WOMAN DORMITORY : When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROO M ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH : When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE SLOT MACHINES : When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY : When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

Boss Kidnapped

Boss Kidnapped

Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in
loud discussions during office time.....

Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened
to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"

They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to
douse him with petrol and set him on fire.

Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened
to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"

They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to
douse him with petrol and set him on fire.

We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."

One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?

.

.

.

.

RHYMING COUPLETS

Rhyming couplets

A local newspaper (in England) ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... But the least romantic second line.

Here are some of the entries they received.

*********

My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe "go to hell"

*********

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

*********

Oh loving beauty you float with grace

If only you could hide your face

*********

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not

*********

I want to feel your sweet embrace

But don't take that paper bag off of your face

*********

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

*********

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming

*********

My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way

Especially to people who are about to get married

#CASE 1

Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

#CASE 2

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger??" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

#CASE 3

Before a man is married, he is incomplete. Then when he is married, he is finished.

#CASE 4

Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's status.

#CASE 5

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married??" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm

still paying for it."

#CASE 6

Young son : "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad : "That happens in most countries son."

#CASE 7

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late."

#CASE 8

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes

#CASE 9

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. Affair ?

#CASE 10

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

#CASE 11

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the Husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

#CASE 12

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified : "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

#CASE 13

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing : either the car is new or his wife is new.

#CASE 14

A woman was telling her friend : "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."

"And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked. The woman replied, "A Billionaire."

Economic models explained with cows

>
> Economic Models explained with Cows
>
> SOCIALISM
> You have 2 cows.
> You give one to your neighbour.
>
> COMMUNISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and gives you some milk.
>
> FASCISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and sells you some milk.
>
> NAZISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and shoots you.
>
> BUREAUCRATISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
> milk away...
>
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
> You have two cows.
> You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> You sell them and retire on the income.
>
> SURREALISM
> You have two giraffes.
> The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
> Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
>
> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
> You have two cows.
> You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
> credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
> debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
> four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
> The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
> Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
> sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
> The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
> one more.
> You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving
> you with nine cows.
> No balance sheet provided with the release.
> The public then buys your bull.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want
> three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
> produce twenty times the milk.
> You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market
> it worldwide.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION
>
>
> You have two cows.
>
>
> You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
> milk themselves.
>
>
>
>
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
>
>
> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
>
>
> You decide to have lunch.
>
>
>
>
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>
>
> You have two cows.
>
>
> You count them and learn you have five cows.
>
>
> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
>
>
> You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
>
>
> You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
>
>
>
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION
>
>
> You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
>
>
> You charge the owners for storing them.
>
>
>
>
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION
>
>
> You have two cows.
>
>
> You have 300 people milking them.
>
>
> You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
>
>
> You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
>
>
>
>
>
> AN INDIAN CORPORATION
>
>
> You have two cows.
>
>
> You worship them.
>
>
>
>
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION
>
>
> You have two cows.
>
>
> Both are mad.
>
>
>
>
>
> AN IRAQI CORPORATION
>
>
> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
>
>
> You tell them that you have none.
>
>
> No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your
> country.
>
>
> You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....
>
>
>
>
>
> THE TALIBAN
>
>
> You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside" and
> they both die. You blame the godless American infidels.
>
> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> Business seems pretty good.
> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
>
> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> The one on the left looks very attractive.
>
>
>

TO ALL WHO KNOW WOMEN WELL

To All who kn o ws women well : A woman came in a Garage and asked for a seven-hundred- ten. All looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred- ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there." The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !! He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there." Now go to the photo below to learn what a 710 is.......... ... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Women ? The mechanic fainted!! J

Deadly Poison - Sugarcane Juice ...MUST READ

It does not harm to play safe


Deadly Poison - Sugarcane Juice
A friend whose father works for the government health inspection passed on his info. Their job is to inspect all hawkers, their cooked food, their store hygiene, etc. They found sugar cane juice has the highest content of bacteria among all food. In fact, it has exceeded the set limit.

Hence, these guys had to find out why. They went round all sugar cane stores and watched the way the hawkers handled their sugar cane, wash their glasses, their entire procedure.

But they couldn't find the problem.

One day, they stayed till closing time and discovered some shocking facts! Whenever, the hawkers closed their stores, they would wash the floor with detergent.

As we know, the remaining sugar canes will be placed at the back of the store, vertically standing and as sugar canes are very porous, they tend to absorb whatever liquid around them.

Besides the soapy water, the dirt on hawkers' boots, cats' urine, etc, will all be absorbed??

Now, whenever I eat at a hawker centre, I would warn all my friends about this and of course, I stopped drinking my favourite sugar cane juice.

A friend, who loved sugar cane juice, was pregnant. She was always drinking sugar cane juice. Anyway, one day she miscarried and the fetus was already like 6 or 7 months old, I think. When the doctors did an autopsy to find out why all of a sudden the fetus had died inside her, they found traces of some chemical substance, which was found in cat urine... Large traces of it.

While it would not be able to harm adults, it was extremely toxic to babies, what more a fetus? So they tried to determine how this cat urine thing could have ended up in the fetus.

This meant that it had to be digested by the mother, right? And the only logical conclusion they could come up with was that since these sugar cane juice stall holders just leave the canes lying around on the wet and dirty floor, it would not be impossible to think that stray cats could have peed on those sugar canes or near those sugar canes.

So think carefully the next time you order that favourite sugar cane juice!

Deadly Poison - Sugarcane Juice ...MUST READ

It does not harm to play safe


Deadly Poison - Sugarcane Juice
A friend whose father works for the government health inspection passed on his info. Their job is to inspect all hawkers, their cooked food, their store hygiene, etc. They found sugar cane juice has the highest content of bacteria among all food. In fact, it has exceeded the set limit.

Hence, these guys had to find out why. They went round all sugar cane stores and watched the way the hawkers handled their sugar cane, wash their glasses, their entire procedure.

But they couldn't find the problem.

One day, they stayed till closing time and discovered some shocking facts! Whenever, the hawkers closed their stores, they would wash the floor with detergent.

As we know, the remaining sugar canes will be placed at the back of the store, vertically standing and as sugar canes are very porous, they tend to absorb whatever liquid around them.

Besides the soapy water, the dirt on hawkers' boots, cats' urine, etc, will all be absorbed??

Now, whenever I eat at a hawker centre, I would warn all my friends about this and of course, I stopped drinking my favourite sugar cane juice.

A friend, who loved sugar cane juice, was pregnant. She was always drinking sugar cane juice. Anyway, one day she miscarried and the fetus was already like 6 or 7 months old, I think. When the doctors did an autopsy to find out why all of a sudden the fetus had died inside her, they found traces of some chemical substance, which was found in cat urine... Large traces of it.

While it would not be able to harm adults, it was extremely toxic to babies, what more a fetus? So they tried to determine how this cat urine thing could have ended up in the fetus.

This meant that it had to be digested by the mother, right? And the only logical conclusion they could come up with was that since these sugar cane juice stall holders just leave the canes lying around on the wet and dirty floor, it would not be impossible to think that stray cats could have peed on those sugar canes or near those sugar canes.

So think carefully the next time you order that favourite sugar cane juice!

Deadly Poison - Sugarcane Juice ...MUST READ

It does not harm to play safe


Deadly Poison - Sugarcane Juice
A friend whose father works for the government health inspection passed on his info. Their job is to inspect all hawkers, their cooked food, their store hygiene, etc. They found sugar cane juice has the highest content of bacteria among all food. In fact, it has exceeded the set limit.

Hence, these guys had to find out why. They went round all sugar cane stores and watched the way the hawkers handled their sugar cane, wash their glasses, their entire procedure.

But they couldn't find the problem.

One day, they stayed till closing time and discovered some shocking facts! Whenever, the hawkers closed their stores, they would wash the floor with detergent.

As we know, the remaining sugar canes will be placed at the back of the store, vertically standing and as sugar canes are very porous, they tend to absorb whatever liquid around them.

Besides the soapy water, the dirt on hawkers' boots, cats' urine, etc, will all be absorbed??

Now, whenever I eat at a hawker centre, I would warn all my friends about this and of course, I stopped drinking my favourite sugar cane juice.

A friend, who loved sugar cane juice, was pregnant. She was always drinking sugar cane juice. Anyway, one day she miscarried and the fetus was already like 6 or 7 months old, I think. When the doctors did an autopsy to find out why all of a sudden the fetus had died inside her, they found traces of some chemical substance, which was found in cat urine... Large traces of it.

While it would not be able to harm adults, it was extremely toxic to babies, what more a fetus? So they tried to determine how this cat urine thing could have ended up in the fetus.

This meant that it had to be digested by the mother, right? And the only logical conclusion they could come up with was that since these sugar cane juice stall holders just leave the canes lying around on the wet and dirty floor, it would not be impossible to think that stray cats could have peed on those sugar canes or near those sugar canes.

So think carefully the next time you order that favourite sugar cane juice!

INDIAN HUMOUR-HAVE A BREAK

S MS

Dosti ke mayne hamse kya puchte ho,
Hum abhi in baton se anjaan hain,

Sirf ek gujarish hai ke bhool na jana hame,
Kyonki aapki dosti hi hamari jaan hai.......

..........................................

Bhige mausam ki khushbu hawao me ho,
Apki dosti ka ehsaas in fizao me ho,

Yuhi sada rahe apke Hoto pe Muskurahat,
Itna asar meri duao me ho......

..........................................

U make 10 friends,
Laugh wid 9,
Meet 8 of them,
Talk to 7,
Celebrate wid 6,
Share secrets with 5,
Trust 4,
Cry wid 3,
Take help of 2,
But never forget 1 like me:)

..........................................

Kuch dost palbhar me bhula diye jate hai,
Kuch dost pal-pal yaad aate hai,

Hum aapse yahi puchna chahte hai,
K dosto k is kataar me hum kahan aate hai.

S MS

Dosti ke mayne hamse kya puchte ho,
Hum abhi in baton se anjaan hain,

Sirf ek gujarish hai ke bhool na jana hame,
Kyonki aapki dosti hi hamari jaan hai.......

..........................................

Bhige mausam ki khushbu hawao me ho,
Apki dosti ka ehsaas in fizao me ho,

Yuhi sada rahe apke Hoto pe Muskurahat,
Itna asar meri duao me ho......

..........................................

U make 10 friends,
Laugh wid 9,
Meet 8 of them,
Talk to 7,
Celebrate wid 6,
Share secrets with 5,
Trust 4,
Cry wid 3,
Take help of 2,
But never forget 1 like me:)

..........................................

Kuch dost palbhar me bhula diye jate hai,
Kuch dost pal-pal yaad aate hai,

Hum aapse yahi puchna chahte hai,
K dosto k is kataar me hum kahan aate hai.

CALL TO HELP DESK

Call to Help Desk

Caller: Hi, our printer is not working.
Help Desk: What is wrong with it?
Caller: Mouse is jammed.
Help Desk: Mouse? And how it is related to printer?
Caller: Mmmm.. Wait, I will send Screen Shot.

.

.

.

.

http://photobucket.com

FW: THE GLOBAL COLLAPSE IN TERMS WE CAN UNDERSTAND

All the finance guys pl read

The financial crisis explained in simple terms............................. Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans). Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar. Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively. A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral. At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items. One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar. However they cannot pay back the debts. Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %. The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced! with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor. The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties. The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers. Finally an explanation I understand...

LAUGHS

bengali jokes
After all the Sardar jokes we had Mallu jokes. Now
it's the turn of the 'Bongs'!!!!

What do you call:

A mad Bengali? ---- In Sen.

A dark Bengali who lives in a cave? ---- Kalidas Guha.

A Bengali mobster? -----Rob in Ganguli.

A perfumed Bengali? ----Chandan Dass

A Bengali goldsmith? ---- Shonar Bongla.

What's bigger than the state of Bengal? --- The
Bay of Bengal.

An angry Bengali letter?--- Chitti-chitti Bong Bong.

A talkative Bengali?---Bulbul Chatterjee.
An outlawed Bengali? --- Kanoon Banerjee or Bonduk
> > Bannerjee.
> > >
An enlightened Bengali? ---- Jyoti Basu.
> > >
A stupid Bengali girl? --- Balika Buddhu.
A Bengali marriage? --- Bedding.
> What do you call a Bengali who takes bribe? --- Mr.
> Ghoosh.
> > >
> > > What does a ghati call a burping Bong? ----
> > Mukhopadhaya.
> > >
> > > How does the Bong learn the alphabet?----A for Orange,
> > B for Begetable....

How does a Bong relax in the evening? ---- He goes to
> the Howrah Brij to get some Breej.
> > >
What does a Bong with a broken heart say?--- "My
> > hurt is hearting"
And finally,
What do you call a Bengali who works? ---- A work of fiction.

amazing DAARU..........symptom/cause/cure

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward.

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2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

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3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause: You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill your Glass.

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4. Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.

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5. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause: You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Take it to your mouth !

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6. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause: You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.

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7. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers look strange.
Cause: You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.

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Thanks

( Issued in intrest of all India Sharab Consumer Forum-Uzbekistan,

Tullee ho Vyapar Sangh-Italy)