PUNJABI CONFIDENCE

George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom
to invade next when his telephone rang.

'Hello, Mr. Bush!' a heavily accented voice said,
'This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala,
Punjab ..

I am ringing to inform you that we are
officially declaring the war on you!'

'Well, Gurmukh,' Bush replied, 'This is indeed
important news! How big is your army'

'Right now,' said Gurmukh, after a moment's
calculation, 'there is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my
next door neighbor Bhagat, and the entire kabaddi team
from the gurudwara. That makes eight'

Bush paused. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one
million men in my army waiting to move on my command.'

'Arrey O! Main kya..' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to ring
you back!'

Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.

'Mr. Bush, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara
STD, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire
some infantry equipment!'

'And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh' Bush
asked.

'Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's
tractor.'

Bush sighed. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have
16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers.
Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we
last spoke.'

'Oh teri....' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to get back to
you.'

Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.

'Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get
ourselves airborne...... We've modified Amrik's
tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on
some wings and the pind's generator. Four school pass
boys from Malpur have joined us as well!'

Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his
throat. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000
bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex
is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army
to TWO MILLION!'

'Tera pala hove....' said Gurmuk, 'I'll have to ring
you back.'

Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.

'Kiddan, Mr.Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have
had to call off the war.'

'I'm sorry to hear that,' said Bush. 'Why the sudden
change of heart'

'Well,' said Gurmukh, 'we've all had a long chat over
a couple of lassi's, and decided there's no way we can
feed two million prisoners of wars!'

NOW THAT'S CALLED PUNJABI CONFIDENCE