WHAT WOMEN REALLY MEAN

What Women Really Mean

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I heard a noise - I noticed you were almost asleep
You Want - You Want
We Need - I Want
It's your decision - The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want - You'll pay for this later
We need to talk - I need to complain
Sure...go ahead - I don't want you to
You're certainly attentive tonight - Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! - I'm not having a period
Hang the picture there - No, I mean hang it there!
Do you love me? - I'm going to ask for something expensive
I'll be ready in a minute - Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
You have to learn to communicate - Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? - Too late, your a goner
I'm sorry - You'll be sorry.
No - Yes
Maybe - No
Do you like this recipe? - It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
I'm not yelling! - Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
This kitchen is so inconvenient - I want a new house...and curtains and carpeting, furniture...

Its Time You Tell This Kid About Birds And Bees

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A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.

He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "Im having a baby."

With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."

With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then why did you eat him?"