Gender Orientation.

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female!

Here are some examples:


FREEZER BAGS:
They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.



PHOTOCOPIERS:
These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.

They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.


TIRES:
Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.


HOT AIR BALLOONS:
Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.


SPONGES:
These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.


WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.


TRAINS:
Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.



EGG TIMERS:
Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.


HAMMERS:
Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.


THE REMOTE CONTROL:
Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

Bragging

When you do something for someone,never brag about it.The feelings are always reciprocated.And never make a mistake of taking people for granted.There is always give and take in any relationship.If you brag about how much you have done for someone,the value of whatever you have done depreciates.Life is very short.Dont break relationships over trivial issues like you have done so much etc and see how ungrateful that person is.In any way,that person must have also reciprocated your love.But When anger blinds you.all focus on what they have done for people ,not what they have got.Then in this world of kalyug,they start breaking their friendships and also the friends who the other person gets along with.There is no word like forgiveness,love,compassion in that person's heart.

SOME IMPORTANT HEALTH TIPS

Answer the phone by LEFT ear.
Do not drink coffee TWICE a day.
Do not take pills with COOL water.
Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm.
Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume.
Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night.
Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS.
Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time.
Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning.
Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping.
When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times.

Forward this to those whom you CARE about!

My unreal friend

My unreal friend
© Jessica A. Lamb
It is not fair I have to live this way
whenever I went to her house it was either her way or the highway
when the rest of her friends come over she always left me behind
why can’t we all just combine?
Friends are supposed to treat friends equally
this is just not fair, one day I will not be there
She better beware because next time I am there I am going to give her a piece of my mind I always let her rule me I guess I was too shy
But this time I won't let her be a wise guy
friend why do you do this to me I never did anything wrong
I guess in your mind I don’t belong
just remember I was true A true friend always to you
But I guess we didn’t blend
I’m sorry friend But this is the end I guess I never was your best friend.Betrayed Poems, My unreal friend by Jessica A. Lamb

Some Important notice for your health

Some Important notice for your health that I like
to share with all..



v Reduce volume of tea intake;

v Do not eat bread which has JUST been toasted;


v Stay a distance from your charger;

v Drink more water in the morning, less at night;


v Do not drink coffee twice a day;

v Reduce your volume of oily food;

v Best sleeping time is from 10 at night to 6 at the morning;


v Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm;

v Do not take alcohol more than a cup daily;

v Do not take capsules with cold water;

v Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before
sleeping;

v Have 8 hours sleep. Lack of it will make a person stupid;


v People who get used to napping will not get old easily;


v If you can't get on early morning runs, 5-8 in the afternoon
is a great time for jogging;

v When battery left last grid, do not answer the phone. The
radiation is 1000 times;

v Answer the phone with your left ear. It'll spoil your brain
directly if you use your right ear;

v Do not use earphone for long time. Rest your ear a while
after 1 hour.



Share this to friends .

Subject: Can you hear me ?.......TOO GOOD

Subject: Can you hear me ?.......TOO GOOD


A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he
thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach
her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor

told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to
give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from
her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears

you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a
response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in
the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what

happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his
wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"


Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his
wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so,

He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's

for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

>>> ;
>>>
>>> ;

>>>
>>> ;
>>>
>>> ;
>>>
>>> ;

>>>
>>> ;
>>>
>>> ;
>>>
>>> ;
>>>

>>> ;
>>>
>>> ;
>>> ;
>>>
>>> ;

>>>
>>> ;
>>>
>>> ;
>>>
>>> ;
>>>

>>> ;
>>>
>>> ;
>>>
>>> ;
"James, for the FIFTH time Im telling you, "ITS CHICKEN!"


Moral of the story: The problem may not be with the other person as we always think,
could be very much within us..!

Therapy for Cervical Spondylitis

Therapy for Cervical Spondylitis


The spinal cord is an integral part of the Nervous System and is directly correlated to our health. Nerves branched out through out the body are connected with the spinal cord. Dysfunction in various organs is often a manifestation of disorder in the spinal cord. Regular asanas and exercises help in maintenance of a flexible backbone

Acharya Vikrmaditya


Today,we look at Manipur Chakra Asana of the Sapt Chakra Kriya, which is extremely beneficial for those with Cervical Spondylitis.

Method


Lie straight on the floor as shown in the picture
Lift the heel of one leg and place it between the right toe and finger of the other leg.
Keep the foot straight
Lift the arms and spread them above the head as shown in the picture
Now turn the head in the direction of the leg that has been lifted
The shoulders should lie flat on the floor
Again turn the foot in the opposite direction as shown in the second picture with the head turned in the opposite direction
The asana should be such so as to twist the body but feel relaxed
Repeat the exercise in the opposite direction
Timings

Time for this asana is one or two minutes
This exercise is to be repeated on both the left and right side for few minutes
Benefits

The spinal cord, already affected by the first two exercises, would be better-affected manifold following this asana
The third exercise also addresses navel disorders
This massages the whole length of the spinal cord
Precautions

Jerks and unbearable strains should be avoided
People suffering from lumbar spondylitis and muscle pull should consult the doctor first

Place : IBM , USA -2 Americans Talking

Place : IBM , USA


(Two Americans Talking)

Currency Conversion Rate :
INR 1 Rs = USD $ 100


Alex: Hi John, you didn't come yesterday to office?


John: Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping.


Alex: Oh really, what happened, I heard that nowadays it has become very strict.


John: Yeah, but I managed to get it.


Alex: How long it took to get it stamped?


John: Oh, it was nasty man, long queue. Bill Gates was standing in front of me and they played with him like anything. That's why it got delayed. I went there at 2 AM itself and waited and returned by 4 PM.


Alex: Really? In India , it is a matter of an hour to get stamped for USA


John: Yeah, but that is because who in India will be interested in coming to USA man, their economy has been booming.


Alex: So, when are you leaving?


John: Anytime , after receiving my tickets from the client in India and you know, I will be getting a chance to fly Air-India. Sort of dream come true.


Alex: How long are you going to stay in India .


John: What do you mean by how long? I will be settled in India , my company has promised me that they will process my Hara Patta ..(green card)


Alex: Really, lucky person man, it is very difficult to get a Hara Patta in India .


John: Yeah, that's why, I am planning to marry an Indian girl there.


Alex: But you can find lots of US girls in Hyderabad , Bangalore and Mumbai.


John: But, I prefer Indian girls because they are beautiful and cultured.


Alex: Where did you get the offer, Bangalore ?


John: Yeah, salary is good there, but cost of living is quite high, it is Rs. 2000/- for a single room accommodation.


Alex: I see, that's too much for US people, Rs.1/- =$100/-. Oh God! what about in Hyderabad , Mumbai?


John: No idea, but it is less than what we have in Bangalore . It is like the world headquarters of software


Alex: I heard, almost all the Indians are having one personal Robot for help.


John: You can get a BMW car for Rs. 5000/-, and a personal Robot for less than Rs.7500/-. But my dream is to purchase Ambassador, which costs Rs.2 ,00,000/- but has got a lovely design.


Alex: By the way, who is your client?


John: Subbarao and Apparao Associates, a pure Indian company, specialising in Embedded Software.


Alex: Oh, really, lucky to work in a pure Indian company. They are really intelligent and unlike American Bodyshoppers who have opened their Fly-by-night outfits in India . Indian companies pay you in full even when you are on bench.


My friend Paul Allen, it seems, used his bench time to visit Bihar, the most liveable place in India , probably world. There you have full freedom and no restrictions. You can do whatever you want! I wonder how that state has perfected that system.

John: Yeah man!, you are right. I hope our Americaalso follows their footsteps.


Alex: How are you going to cope with their language?


John: Why not? From my school days I have been learning Hindi as my first language here at New York . At the Consulate they tested my proficiency in Hindi and were quite impressed by my cent per cent score in TOHIL i.e. Test of Hindi as International Language.


Alex: So, you are going to have fun there.


John: Yeah, I will be travelling in the world's fastest train, world's largest theme park, and the famous Bollywood where you can see actors like, Hrithik, Shah Rukh Khan and all. Esselworld is also near Bollywood.


Alex: You know, the PM is scheduled to visit US next year, he may then relax the number of visas.


John: That's true. Last month, Narayana Murt hy visited White House and donated Rs. 2000/- for infrastructure development at aSiliconValleyand has promised more if we follow the model of High-Tech City of Bangalore . Bill Gates also got a chance of meeting him. Very lucky person.


Alex: But, Indian government is planning to split Narayanamurthy' s Infosys.


John: He is a hard worker man, he can build any number of Infosys like this. Every minute he is getting Rs. 1000/-. It seems, if you keep all his money converted as Rs. 100/- notes you can reach Pluto.


Alex: OK, Good Luck John.


John: Same to you Alex. And don't go to Consulate in a "Kurta Pyjama" because they will think you are too Indianised and may doubt you will never come back and hence your Non-Immigrant Visa may get rejected. But don't forget to say " Namaste, aap kaise hai " to the Visa officer at Window 5. It seems he likes that and will not give you a visa if you don't greet him that way.

To Make A Woman Happy

To make a woman happy
A man only needs to be:

1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38.. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO.....
44. Give her compliments regularly
45. Love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. Not stress her out
49. Not look at other girls



AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:



50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget:
* Birthdays
* Anniversaries

& ..HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Leave him alone !!

HURRY UP!

To compete with and shatter the long withheld dreams of TATA motors, Reliance has come up with a car for Rs. 25000/- only.

DOWN PAYMENT WILL BE RS. 1000/- ONLY


" HURRY UP "


Here's
the
Rs. 25000/-
car.









25000 MEIN AUR KITNA CHAAHIYE !!!!

maths

Secret Trick : Math Division - Watch the best video clips here

Important Info about lipstick

Recently a lipstick brand called "Red Earth"

decreased their prices from
$67 to $9.90.


It contained lead.

Lead is a chemical which causes cancer.



The lipstick brands that contain lead are:





RED EARTH (Lip Gloss)


CHANEL (Lip Conditioner)


MARKET AMERICA-MOTNES LIPSTICK.


The higher the lead content,

the greater the chance of causing cancer.


After doing a test on lipsticks,

it was found that the Y.S.L. lipstick
contained the most amount of lead.




Watch out for those lipsticks which are supposed to stay longer.



If your lipstick stays longer, it is
because of the higher content of lead.


Here is the test you can do yourself:


1. Put some lipstick on your hand.


2. Use a Gold ring to scratch on the lipstick.



3. If the lipstick colour changes to black,

then you know the lipstick contains lead.


Please send this information to all your girlfriends,

wives and female family members.


This information is being circulated at

Walter Reed Army Medical Center


Dioxin Carcinogens cause cancer,

especially breast cancer.

Indian had reached moon before American ! This is an absolute Truth !

Indian had reached moon before American ! This is an absolute Truth !



This is known to the world............

-

-

-










-

-

But NASA has released only half of the Picure taken.............

-

-

-

-

-

Now see the original Full Picture .................. !!!!!



(dnt knw whether d guy is mallu/kannad or telugu)

Appam, Chemmeen fry..... Dosa, motta fry .... Paal Payasam ....eeeeeeee... Enda sare .. chayao kappiyo ???

TOUCHING

Read this doc on Scribd: 1w1nqhvzeuzwv59h8f0g