The Purina Diet

The purina diet

> The purina diet
> The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you
> >>like to respond like this?
> >>
> >> Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of
> >>Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, and was in the checkout line
> >>when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
> >> What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired
> >>and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,
> >>I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
> >>because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
> >>before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most
> >>of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
> >>
> >> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that
> >> the
> >>way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
> >>simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is
> >>nutritionally
> >>complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
> >>mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my
> >>story.)
> >>
> >> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because
> >>the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an
> >>Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
> >>
> >> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack
> >>he was laughing so hard.
> >>
> >> Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
> >>
> >> Better watch what at you ask retired people. They have all
> >> the
> >>time in the world to think of crazy things to say.