LOVE DRESS

>
> A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house.
> She knocked on the door then immediately walked in
> She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
>
> 'What are you doing?' she asked.
> 'I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work,' the daughter-in-law answered.
>
> 'But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.
>
> 'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.
>
> 'Love dress? But you're naked!'
>
> 'Mike loves me to wear this dress,' she explained. 'It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me'
>
> The mother-in-law left.
>
> When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
>
> Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.
>
> 'What are you doing?' he asked.
>
> 'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.
>
> 'Needs ironing,' he said. 'What's for dinner?
>
> He never heard the gunshot.....................................!
>
>
>
>

HOW SHARE MARKET WORKS

WORLD SORRY DAY

hi...

Today is "world sorry saying day"

So... If I have hurt you any time anywhere...
If my Emails are disturbing you...
If I have bugged you...
then seriously
I wanna say just three words...
....
....
....









"I WILL CONTINUE"
KARLE JO KARNA HAI :)

Life cycle - SUPERB!!!

Life cycle - watch closely

This is awesome and I don't know how anyone did this....

MUST READ BY EVERY INDIAN

Ant & Grasshopper

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Now Indian Version

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout.

Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath '.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, it's home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice '.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice '.

CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden '

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley.

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India ...

As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers,

India is still a developing country!!!

Be Happy.......


--


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MIND GAME

MIND GAME




2% or 98%
This is strange...can you figure it out?
Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?
Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!
* Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.
* There's no trick or surprise.
* Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!
* Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done each of them ... really.
* Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss something).





Think of a number from 1 to 10









































Multiply that number by 9









































If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together





































Now subtract 5









































Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with (example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.)









































Think of a country that starts with that letter





































Remember the last letter of the name of that country









































Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter









































Remember the last letter in the name of that animal









































Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter









































Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange? I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise.

Freaky, huh?

Keep this message going. This one is actually worth sending on to others. Forward it to people you know so they can find out if they are usual or unusual.

TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA - FUNNY BUT TRUE

TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA - FUNNY BUT TRUE







Dear All,

Just to make our life style as fun

1) Qus. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax

6) Qus. : Where are you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

8) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

12) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

17) Qus.: Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

18) Qus.: How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) INDIAN :: can i die now??
Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!
TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA

THINGS YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW YOUR MOBILE PHONE COULD DO

THINGS YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW YOUR MOBILE PHONE COULD DO

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:

FIRST Emergency

The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile; network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

SECOND Have you locked your keys in the car?

Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their mobile phone from your cell phone.
Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to
drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
Editor's Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a mobile phone!'

THIRD Hidden Battery Power

Imagine your mobile battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your mobile will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your mobile next time.

FOURTH How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone * # 0 6 #
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.


This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends

SARDAR JOKES

Sardar Jokes

1. news reporter gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train
accident at Amritsar station. Only one sardar left alive.The
correspondent goes to him and asks, Sardarji how did it happen?

Sardar: oh ji pucho mat.. sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade
gaadi ki wait kar rahe they. Achanak announcement hui ki shatabdee
express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi
PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri par
kood gaye. Aur tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi. Reporter: Thank god. Aap
ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin koode.

Sardar: Oye nahin ji main to suicide karne ki iye patri par hi leta
tha. Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya.

============================

2. Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road... why?

Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the Office.

============================
3. A Sardarni had 8 sons all named Karan. On asking how she managed to
call one in particular.

She replied: That's easy. I call them by their surname !
..........................................................................

4. Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.
Wife observes the whole episode.

Again he comes and does the same stuff.

Wife askes Why are you doing this?

Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.

============================
5. What is the full form of singh:

S-sardar I-insaan N-nahi G-gadha H-hai.

============================

6.Angry Sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga - mita dunga mita

dunga.

Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga.
============================
7.Santa singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office.

============================

8.Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta
tha kya?

Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di..."

============================

9. Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalte woh kya soch rahe honge....think.........

"SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"

============================

10.A friend asks sardar how was ur exam?

Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK.

I thought, thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'

============================
11.Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz
sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.

Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?

Sardar: Phone karte waqt.
============================
12. Sardarni asks her lover,"Santa dear, if we get engaged, will u give
me a ring?"

"Sure" replies santa. "Whats ur phone no?"

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Tips to recover scratched CD/DVDs

Don't you feel like crying every time you add another disc to your pile of scratched discs. Trashing that disc which contained your favorite songs, pics, files, games or videos is not easy.

Read-on, if you find yourself wishing for a miracle every time your fav CD is scratched:

Home Remedy :
here's an easy home remedy, which might give you the desired results. Rub a small amount of toothpaste on the scratch and polish the CD with a soft cloth and any petroleum-based polishing solution (like clear shoe polish). Squirt a drop of Brasso and wipe it with a clean cloth.

Before marriage....

Before marriage....

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
After 10 years of marriage....

Simply read from bottom to top (in reverse order)