Tuesday, July 29, 2008

*The Stranger*

*The Stranger*

*A few years after I was born, my dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.*

*As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mum taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey.
But the stranger ..... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries, and comedies. If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future!*

*He took my family to the football and cricket. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.*

*Sometimes, Mum would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would
go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed
for the stranger to leave.)*

*Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home ... not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.*

*My dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger
encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool,
cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely)
about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing. *

*I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced
strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my
parents, yet he was seldom rebuked ... And NEVER asked to leave.*

*More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our
family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was
at first. If you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find
him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk
and watch him draw his pictures.*

*His name?*




















*We just call him, 'TV.'*

** *Note: This should be a required reading for every household !!*

*He has a wife now, ... We call her, 'Computer'.*

Rediff Shopping

Sunday, July 27, 2008

INFORMATION

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Saturday, July 12, 2008

Saving a Life

Saving a Life (by Lakshmi Venkateswaran)
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jimm suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind.

The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.


Are you busy?

Are you busy?

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,

"I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!"

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.

"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!"

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

"Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then , don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??" and she hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay", he says, "It's all set. They're both coming for Diwali and paying their own airfare!!"

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Thursday, July 3, 2008

Ramayana - narrated by a American teenage dude... Do read it..........

Ramayana - narrated by a American teenage dude... Do read it.......... ......... ...



A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is how he went about it...







" So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something... Since he was going,
for like, something like more than 10 years or so.. he decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know...so that they could all chill out together.
But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man...they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But
this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine.
But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed..... all the gods were with him... So anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys.. Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok...
so, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood.





Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest..and anyways...it gets kinda boring,you know... no TV or malls or shit like that. So,they decided to hitch a ride back home... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home... they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take
them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit...and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also... so it was pretty cooool...





you know with all those fireworks... Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks... and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival started."