IMPORTANT

IMPORTANT

A stock clerk was sent to clean up a storeroom in Maui , Hawaii .

When he got back, he was complaining that the storeroom was really filthyand that he had noticed dried mouse/rat droppings in some areas.!

A couple of days later, he started to feel like he was coming down witha stomach flu, complained of sore joints and headaches, and began to vomit.

He went to bed and never really got up again. Within two

days he was severely ill and weak. His blood sugar count was down to 66,and his face and eyeballs were yellow. He was rushed to the emergency atPali-Momi, where he was diagnosed to be suffering from massive organ failure.He died shortly before midnight.

No one would have made the connection between his job and his death, hadit not been for a doctor who specifically asked if he had been in a warehouseor exposed to dried rat/mouse droppings at anytime. They said there isa virus (much like the Hanta virus) that lives in dried rat and mouse droppings.

Once dried, these droppings are like dust and can easily be breathed inor ingested if a person does not wear protective gear or fails to washface and hands thoroughly .

An autopsy was performed on the clerk to verify the doctor's suspicions...

This is why it is extremely important to ALWAYS carefully rinse off thetops of canned sodas or foods, and to wipe off pasta packaging, cerealboxes, and so on.

Almost everything you buy in a supermarket was stored in a warehouse atone time or another, and stores themselves often have rodents.

Most of us remember to wash vegetables and fruits but never think of boxesand cans.

The ugly truth is, even the most modern, upper-class, super store has ratsand mice. And their warehouse most assuredly does!

Whenever you buy any canned soft drink, please make sure that you washthe top with running water and soap or, if that is not available, drinkwith a straw.

The investigation of soda cans by the Center for Disease Control in Atlantadiscovered that the tops of soda cans can be encrusted with dried rat'surine, which is so toxic it can be lethal. Canned drinks and other foodstuffsare stored in warehouses and containers that are usually infested withrodents, and then they get transported to retail outlets without beingproperly cleaned.

Please forward this message to the people you care about.

(I JUST DID!)

SOME THOUGHTS

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1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life! 2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it. 3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration! 4. Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world! That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking! 5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!! 6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die! 7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles! 8. So many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow & sure! 9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends! 10. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else! 11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di??? 12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, When tears flow from your eyes always say these words… Eh Ganpat, chal daru la… 13. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

This explains why I forward jokes.

This explains why I forward jokes.

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as
he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'

'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.

'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.

'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'

'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.

'There should be a bowl by the pump.'

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.

'This is Heaven,' he answered.

'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'

'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'

Soooo...

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

Musharaf's residence in PAK

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PRICELESS WORDS

PRICELESS WORDS

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
'Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!'

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, 'Son, what happened last night?'
His son says, 'Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door'. Confused, the man asks,
'So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!'
His son replies, 'Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,

'LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!'

Moral
Self-induced hangover - Rs 1400.00
Broken crockery - Rs. 1800.00
Breakfast - Rs. 25.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk ' 'PRICELESS '

There are truly some things that both money and Mastercard can't buy

Stock market definitions

Bull market: a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear market: a six- to eight-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery and the husband gets no sex.

Momentum investing: the fine art of buying high and selling low.

Value investing: the art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E ratio: the percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

Broker: poorer than you were last year.

Buy, Buy: a flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane.

Standard and Poor (S&P): your life in a nutshell.

Stock analyst: idiot who just downgraded your stock.

Stock split: when your former wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.

Market correction: the day after you buy stocks.

Cash flow: the movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

Institutional investor: past year investor who is now locked up in a nut house.

EBITDA : earnings before I tricked the dumb auditor.

EBIT: earnings before irregularities and tampering.

CEO: chief embezzlement officer.

CFO: chief fraud officer.

EPS: eventual prison sentence

Water or Coke?

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Water or Coke?
I could not believe this..... Very interesting


WATER

#1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
(Likely applies to half the world population.)

#2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak
that it is mistaken for hunger.

#3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as
3%.

#4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs
for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of
Washington study.

#5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

#6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of
water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain
for up to 80% of sufferers.

#7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term

memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on

the computer screen or on a printed page.

#8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of
colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast
cancer by 79%., and one is 50% less likely to develop
bladder cancer. Are you drinking the amount of water
you should drink every day?

COKE

#1. In many states the highway patrol carries
two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from
the highway after a car accident.

#2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke
and it will be gone in two days.

#3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the
toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour,
then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes
stains from vitreous china.

#4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers:
Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds
Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.

#5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour
a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble
away the corrosion.

#6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Apply a cloth soaked in
Coca-Cola
to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

#7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into
the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake.
Thirty minutes before ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing
the drippings to mix
with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

#8... To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Coke
into the load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run
through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen
grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your
windshield.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION:

#1. the active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid.
It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric
acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major
contributor to the rising increase of osteoporosis.

#2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup! (the concentrate) the
commercial trucks must use a hazardous Material place
cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.

#3. The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean
engines of the trucks for about 20 years!



Now the question is, would you like a glass of water?

or Coke?