People Can Be So Dumb

Their teachers must be proud of these scholars: 'Millionaire' Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.' It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question. The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?' A) A Peanut B) An Elephant C) The Moon D) Hey, who you calling large? Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. 'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.' Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was larger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure. 'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans. 'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.' Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs.. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant. 'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. 'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds Hun.' Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds. 'Come on Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.' To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.' 'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans. Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life. 'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.' Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.' Caution. . .they walk among us! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- This one is actually better! (No comments needed!) Caution... They Walk Among Us! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it! ***They walk amongst us!*** ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- *One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?' ***They walk among us!!*** ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff' ***They Walk Among Us!!*** ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'. ***They Walk Among Us!!!!*** ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the trunk. ***They Walk Among Us!!!!!*** ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned... ***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! *** ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'... (I work with professionals like this.) ***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!*** ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. ***Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!! Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce !!!!

WHAT A REPLY?

What A Reply!!!!

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "


The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.....

.
.
.
.
.
.


He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running ".

Riddles

If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don't have it. What is it?

A secret.

The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?

Darkness

What book was once owned by only the wealthy, but now everyone can have it?
You can't buy it in a bookstore or take it from a library.

A telephone book.

What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?

A chalkboard

What happened in the middle of the twentieth century that will not happen again for 4,000 years?

The year 1961 can be read upside down and that won't happen again until 6009!

What has no beginning, end, or middle?

A doughnut.

What has to be broken before it can be used?

An egg.

What does no man want, yet no man wants to lose?

Work - Employment

How many bricks does it take to complete a building made of brick?

Only one, the last one.

What is everything to someone, and nothing to everyone else?

Your mind.

Big as a biscuit, deep as a cup, even a river can't fill it up. What is it?

A kitchen strainer.

What goes up and never comes down?

Your age.

What's the greatest worldwide use of cowhide?

To cover cows.

What's long and thin, covered in skin; red in parts, and put in tarts?

Rhubarb.

What has feet and legs, and nothing else?

Stockings

What is the moon worth?

$1, because it has 4 quarters.

What grows when it eats, but dies when it drinks?

A candle.

What stays where it is when it goes off?

An alarm clock

You heard me before, yet you hear me again. Then I die, 'til you call me again. What am I?

An echo

I never was, I am always to be,
No one ever saw me, nor ever will
And yet I am the confidence of all
To live and breathe on this terrestrial ball
What am I?

I am Tomorrow

Question

The beginning of eternity
The end of time and space
The beginning of every end,
And the end of every place

Answer

The letter 'e'.

SHAYRI

Hamein zindagi to di kisi aur ne,
Par pyaar itna dekar jeena sikha diya aapne.

Tujhe bhoolkar bhi na bhool payenge hum,
Bas yahi ek wada nibha payenge hum.
Mita denge khud ko bhi jahan se lekin,
Tera naam dil se na mita payenge hum..

View Raw Image">

Karoge yaad ek din is pyar ke zamane ko,
Chale jayenge jab hum kabhi na vapas aane ko.
Chalega mehfil me jab zikr hamara koi,
To tum bhi tanhayi dhundoge aansu bahane ko.

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Sabhi ko sabh kuch nahi milta,
Nadi ki har lehar ko sahil nahi milta,
Yeh dil walon ki dunia hai dost,
Kisi se dil nahi milta to koi dil se nahi milta

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Kadam kadam pe baharon ne saath chhoda,
Zaroorat padne par yaaron ne saath chhoda,
Vaada kiya sitaron ne saath dene ka,
Subah hone par sitaron ne bhi saath chhoda

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Dil ka dard dil todne wale kya jane,
Pyar ke rivazon ko zamana kya jane,
Hoti hai kitni takleef ladki patane mein,
Ye ghar pe baitha ladki ka baap kya jaane.

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Geet ki zarorat mahfil me hoti hai,
Pyar ki zarorat dil me hoti hai,
Bin dost ke adhuri hai ye jindagi,
kyunki dost ki zarorat har pal mahsus hoti hai...

Very Useful Information. Pl forward to help your relatives

FW: Very Useful Information. Pl forward to help your relatives

By-pass surgery


Dear All,

This is a new theory which has come to my knowledge very recently and I thought that I should also share
with you all.

A few days back my Friends Father in law was admitted in a nursing home due to severe chest pain.

He had an attack in 1997 and was undergoing normal treatment.

Due to the sudden pain just 15 days back we once again got him admitted in a private nursing home at
Kandiwali, Mumbai.

The doctors later suggested for Angiography.

We conducted the Angiography at Hinduja Hospital and knew from the reports that he has multiple blockages.

The doctor told that he cannot undergo Angioplasty due to several blockages but suggested 'By Pass Surgery'.


The same day evening we bought him home since the doctor suggested that his heart is very weak and we can
perform the by-pass only after 15 - 20 days

In the mean time we were discussing this issue with our relatives and friends, we got this new information
from one of our family friends.

There is a new therapy in the market which is known as - Chelation Therapy. Or Calation Therapy.

According to this therapy any patient who has to undergo by-pass need not undergo the same.

The patient is given appx. 18 bottles of blood where in some medicines are injected along with it.

The blood cleans the system and removes all the blockages from the heart.

The no. of bottles may increase depending upon the age factor and health of the patient.

The cost of the blood per bottle would be appx. Rs.2,500/- The treatment takes of appx. 1 month.

There are only 4 doctors in India and one of them is Dr.Dhananjay Shah at Malad (Mumbai) another at
Karnataka.

He has a list of patients who had to undergo by-pass from Lilavati, Hinduja and other major hospitals but
after undergoing the above treatment they are absolutely fine and leading a normal life.

I give below the Doctor's details for your info:

Dr. Dhananjay Shah.
Hospital Tel: 0091-22-2889 2089.
Mob: 98194 39657.
Email: shahdhananjay@ rediffmail. com

Kindly pass on the message to the people you know and one can save huge amount of money, time and risk of
undergoing the operation.

AGE AND WISDOM

Age and wisdom

A crusty old biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar, which reads:

CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : $2.50
HAND JOB: $100.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a meager looking group of farmers.

'Yes?' she inquires with a knowing smile, 'can I help you?'

'I was wondering,' whispers the old biker, 'are you the young lady who gives the hand-jobs?'

'Yes, she smiles and purrs, I sure am.'

The old biker replies, 'Well wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger.'

THE PRICE OF STUPIDITY

The Price of Stupidity



What a world? (country NSW)... On Thursday, 24 January 2002, Derek Guille
broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio.



In March, 1999, a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW) received a bill
for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it
and threw it away. In April he received another bill and threw that one
away too.



The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating they
were going to cancel his gas line if he didn't send them $0.00 by return
mail. He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error
and they would take care of it.



The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the
troublesome gas line figuring that if there as usage on the account it
would put an end to this ridiculous predicament. However, when he went to
use the gas, it had been cut off. He called the gas company who appologised
for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it.
The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue.



Assuming that having spoken to them the previous day the latest bill was
yet another mistake, so he ignored it, trusting that the company would be
as good as their word and sort the problem out.



The next month he got a bill for $0.00. This bill also stated that he had
10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover
the debt.



Finally, giving in, he thought he would beat the company at their own game
and mailed them a cheque for $0.00. The computer duly processed his account
and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the gas company
nothing at all.



A week later, the manager of the Mudgee branch of the Westpac Banking
Corporation called our hapless friend and asked him what he was doing
writing cheque for $0.00. After a lengthy explanation the bank manager
replied that the $0.00 cheque had caused their cheque processing software
to fail. The bank could therefore not process ANY cheques they had received
from ANY of their customers that day because the cheque for $0.00 had
caused the computer to crash.



The following month the man received a letter from the gas company claiming
that his cheque has bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he
sent a cheque by return mail they would take immediate steps to recover the
debt. At this point, the man decided to file a debt harassment claim
against the gas company. It took him nearly 2 hours to convince the clerks
at the local courthouse that he was not joking. They subsequently assisted
him in the drafting of statements which were considered substantive
evidence of the aggravation and difficulties he had been forced to endure
during this debacle. The matter was heard in the Magistrate's Court in
Mudgee and the outcome was this:



The gas company was ordered to:



[1] Immediately rectify their computerised accounts system or show cause,
within 10 days, why the matter should not be referred to a higher court for
consideration under company Law.



[2] Pay the bank dishonour fees incurred by the man.



[3] Pay the bank dishonour fees incurred by all the Westpac clients whose
cheques had been bounced on the day our friend's had been.



[4] Pay the claimant's court costs; and



[5] Pay the claimant a total of $1500 per month for the 5 month period
March to July inclusive as compensation for the aggravation they had caused
their client to suffer. And all this over $0.00.



This story can also be viewed on the ABC website.